From Flab to Fab?

wonder if this will work

2010-03-26T02:23:00.000-07:00

I'm back :)

2010-03-23T02:07:00.000-07:00

was just given a reminder about this blog so thought I would write an update

I did give up for a while but I am back into things in a BIG way and I am totally in the right headspace - I have lost 13.5kg in the past 8 weeks and I am SOOOO in the zone!

I go to the gym 3 times a week (would love to go more but it just does not fit in around the kids)I am gradually building up my fitness level ,I have now gone from struggling to do 10 minutes to being able to do 45 mins which I am pretty impressed about :)

in 23 weeks I am off to Aus with Theo in september my goal is to have atleast 30kg gone by then :)

I am loving eating healthy,being nmore active and just enjoying life in general :)

oh and my kids are adorable as ever :) theo is 11.5 and Lexi is not long 2 now and they are my heart and soul!

don't expect too much along the lines of updates but I will pop one up from time to time :)

2009-08-26T22:41:00.000-07:00

2009-08-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

The big D

2009-08-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

and not I am not talking diet! Divorce!

Richard and I are splitting up - it is for the best and everyone will be much happier it was my choice to split but he agrees 100% - now there's one for the records us agreeing on something.

So have I decided this is a good enough reason to give up the dieting????

HELL NO!

I have decided it has given me even more reason to work even harder at losing weight - because what I figure is it will take me a year or 2 to lose all the weight that I need to lose and by that stage I will probably be ready to start thinking about dating again and if I am happy and confident in myself I am less likely to fall in with the wrong guy and I think losing weight will help my confidence.

I am shit scared about going it alone - dealing with the kids by myself and not having anyone to help with things - BUT I guess like hundreds of thousands of solo parents before me I will manage.

1 week down 2kg down

2009-08-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

I have to say I am pretty disapointed at only losing 2kg but then I have not been exercising as much as I wanted to because I have had a cold and cough - monday is it for the aquafit and Hubby is going to lower his bike seat this weekend so weather permitting I will be able to get out bike riding.

I have obviousy slightly misinturpritated some of what the dietitian had writen for me to eat because she says I did not eat enough carbs and protien but I am pretty sure I understod her this week - she said not eating enough will not help weight loss.

I may have only lost 2kg but I seriously feel so much better with my body being rid of all the crap it is sooo used to me putting in it.

So todays weight in had me at 145kg or 319lbs so another 6kg till I am under 140kg and 20lbs till I am under 300lbs :)

it is getting easier eating right - I am looking forward to the day when it is habbit and second nature.

so who is reading this? anyone?

Day 4 and feeling great :)

2009-08-10T05:03:00.001-07:00

I am getting used to the smaller amounts now and I am not very often hungry - really what I am eating now is more than ample :)

Still struggling with the water though!

I decided tonight as silly as it may sound to some of you that I am going to track my weight loss in both KG's AND lbs - therefore giving me more milestones - like getting under 300lbs,250lbs as well as getting under 125kg and 100kg etc just for me really so I can feel like I have achived more - yup crazy I know but I feel it will make things a bit more fun for me.

My weigh in last Thurday I was 147kg so in lbs that is 324lbs so my first goal is to get under 300lbs which is about 136kg things sound so much more impressive in lbs :) "wow I have lost 25lbs" sounds far more impressive than "Wow I have lost 11kg!"

anyway I am starting to feel excited about the prospect of weight loss.

I was going to start aquawobble tonight but I am not 100% over my cold so I will wait till next monday night (I am going to go friday mornings too but I have to take mum to a hospital apt this week).I am also getting Hubby to lower his bike seat (he rarely uses his bike) so I can start going for bike rides in the evenings and weekends esp once the weather improves. so once I combine regular decent exercise the weight should start falling off.

I am really starting to doubt if I will have lost weight this week but SURELY I won't have gained. The reason I am thinking I probably have not lost any is that I don't feel hungry and some times I even feel full on what I am eating - I guess we will see on Thursday.

I must say I am actually starting to enjoy eating healthy and I am also enjoying writing in this blog - if there is anyone out there reading this blog some feedback and/or ideas would be fantastic.

I am going to get hubby to take some before pic's of me in my togs and I will put them up once I have lost 20kg with a photo after the 20kg is gone too Then I have decided I will update them every 10kg

I started out with the goal weight of 90kg in mind but I feel now why set a limit I am just going to keep going as long as I can but 90kg is the highest I want my end weight to be.

so I have a minimum of 57kg or 125lbs (see again the lbs sounds way more impressive) to lose I would like to be 90kg by next christmas at the latest.

it is a LONG road but it is a road I am ready to go down now - more ready than I have ever been before.

day 3

2009-08-08T22:23:00.000-07:00

short and sweet!

water !!! ug!!! what a mission!

everything else is going well

Day 2

2009-08-07T15:39:00.000-07:00

well last night was tough! I was sooo hungry BUT I did not give in! I was most suprised to wake up this morning and not feel starving infact I did not even feel hungry.I really wish I could swap the meals around because I find the breakfast more filling than dinner.

I sooo hate drinking water , well not that I hate drinking water but to have to drink 3 - 4 litres a day I am really not fond of! yesterday I managed 3 L JUST I guess that will get easier as the weather warms up.

I remember when I was pregnant with Lexi I could never get enough water - some times I would drink a couple of litres in an hour - on average I drank 8 - 10 litres in a day back then, maybe getting pregnant will help :)

I think once I have got through the first 3 weeks it will be easier - they say it takes 3 weeks to form a habbit - so if I can do it right for the first few weeks eating right will just be a habbit.

I really wish that Vegies were cheaper - at the moment it is about $4.50 for a cabbage and the same for a lettuce I can have unlimited salad with lunch and unlimited vegies with dinner - I ate 1/4 of a cabbage last night and 1 head of brocolli I guess I will start eating less vegies(but still enough) once my stomach has shunk a bit .

I recon I will lose about 3 or 4 kg this week if I stick to it like I have - I am starting aquawobble on monday night and I will do that monday nights and friday mornings so increasing my exercise levels a ton (45 mins twice a week aquawobble and a daily walk) has to help too.

I will be thrilled if I manage to lose 3kg - more would be nice but I will be very disapointed if I have not lost atleast 3kg.

talk about obsessed

2009-08-06T16:06:00.000-07:00

so far today I have had what I am allowed to eat - 1/2 of a cup of bran with yellow top milk,a banana and a piece of toast I keep going to the eating plan and seeing if there is anything else I have missed that I am allowed and have not yet had but no I have had everything!

I am finding myself planning lunch already - Lunch today will be 2 slices of bread with 60 grams of canned Salmon,a cup of soup and a pear but I might not eat the pear with lunch I might save it for an afternoon snack.

Tea tonight is Salmon fillet (90 grams uncooked) 1 potato(hen egg sized) and I am going to do a TON of vegies because I can have as many of them as I like and a piece of fruit - probably a manderin. Later on I will be able to have a glass of yellow top milk too.

I am really going to feel this for the first few weeks - as ashamed as I am to admit it this is probably not even 1/5th of what I normally eat and untill my stomache has shunrk it is going to be hard going.

I have got so used to eating till I am full that I now expect to feel full all the time and that really is not good.

I will probably post here alot over the next few weeks because it is a much healthier thing to do than to obsess over when the next time I am going to eat is!!!

right now it is half an hour till lunch and I am JUST starting to feel hungry so I asm feeling better than I thought I would.

Once Lexi gets up from her sleep we are off for a walk down to the park - I really am looking forward to having more energy to do more with the kids because right now even getting up and down from the floor has become a huge mission.

so that is Fridays ramble out of the way - I may post again later if not will be bac tomorrow :)

OMG was given my eating plan today!!!

2009-08-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

I think I am going to feel starving for the next few weeks till I get used to eating alot less 90grams of meat per dinner 1(thats right 1!!!) potato and vegies that is like 1/5th of what I normally eat (yes I eat an excessive amount) it is one hell of a HUGE adjustment to make - I was unable to get weighed at my first apt because I was too heavy for their scales (they take up to 150kg) but either their scales were out OR I have lost weight because I weighed 147 today I have a LONG LONg way to go BUT I have a positive feeling and attitude this time :)

Tomorrow I see a dietician tomorrow

2009-07-21T16:15:00.000-07:00

time to get serious!

I need to lose weight to help with TTC will be good to get some professional advice.

For all you TM ppl who still check here for messages

2009-06-22T02:03:00.000-07:00

Just thought I would add an update - I only ever go and lurk on the boards when I have a thread pointed out to me - I could not be less interested in the msg boards - the longer I have been away from them the more I wonder what the hell was the attraction to them.I have found another parenting forum which literally only talks about kids and parenting which is fab! If anyone wants to get in contact with me they can do so either at facebook (Sarah Rowe) or MSN (ew_er@hotmail.com) or email getme@paradise.net.nz .

I am really happy with the way my life is going atm - it is often the way - out of some shitface situation things end up better than they were in the past.

Hubby and I have just had an awesome weekend away in Kaikoura - going through caves,doing walks to waterfalls with seal pups at the bottom of them and we even went on segways which was totally awesome! nice meal out , relaxing in the spa where we stayed - it was just lovely - the kids stayed with the inlaws.

Lexi is nearly 16 months old and has so far only walked 4 steps in a row and 2 or 3 steps a few times - she will get there when she is ready - she is just lazy/laid back!!! she is just beautiful!!!Theo is doing well - seems to really like his new school and goes to St Johns cadets each week and totally loves that.

so all in all I love the house we are in now, things are going really well - weightloss really needs to get restarted - I have been super slack but I do NEED to get back on track because we are not having much success TTC so losing some weight would probably help that.

1 person off TM I would really love to get hold of is Sarahg7 so if anyone has contact details for her please pass on my contact details.

:)

not exactly the way to do it

2009-03-05T14:48:00.000-08:00

I am now down to 142kg having spent a week in hospital eating next to nothing and then a week at home not eating much .

I am really not in the right frame of mind for writing in this blog - I hate my life and every single aspect of it - I wish I could wake up and it all just be a bad dream or someones idea of a bad joke

I can't win with me!!!

2009-02-04T00:28:00.000-08:00

I am walking Theo to and from school each day and actually really enjoying the walking - but now I am struggling with the food side of things - where last time I could not exercise but I did great with the food - I now need to combine the 2 and the weight should fall off - I know from past experience when you are this big the weight just falls off to start with.

well that is a good restart to things

2009-02-03T01:01:00.000-08:00

have walked to and from school both today and yesterday and have actually enjoyed it . it is 10 mins each way so 40 mins a day - going from 0 mins a day it will have to make a difference.

once I have got used to doing that I will start taking longer routes to and from school .

good to be back on track and with including the exercise this time it should not take long to start getting results.

Right well that was a disaster!

2009-02-01T02:14:00.000-08:00

with moving house and then Christmas and the school holidays I REALLY fell off the waggon - BUT as of tomorrow I am back on it - it is a whole change all round - not only are we wanting to be more healthy but we are wanting to save money so I am also looking for part time work - part time work not only will help the finances BUT it Will keep me active - get me off my big fat lazy butt!!! Theo is back at school tomorrow and it is a 15 minute walk each way so that is an hour of walking for me each week day which is wonderful.

Health issues have meant that TTC is now on hold till I know what is going on with my health so that gives me a good chance to lose some weight before starting up TTC again meaning that it may be easier to conceive once we start trying again. So things for the most part are looking up!
hopefully I don't fall off this time .

We are moving!!!

2008-11-28T10:49:00.000-08:00

YAY!!!!! We have found a new house that will let us have our dog! AND it is just perfect AND in the exact area where we want to be! The SUPER good thing about that is that there are soo many good walks in the area AND hubby will get home from work sooner so we will be able to go for evening walks easier.Also I have had hubby password my computer so I cannot get on it till he gets home from work which is fab because it means I can't sit on my butt all day doing nothing on the computer!I can really see this move being great for my weight loss because I have not been motivated to exercise here .

hopefully I will see big progress soon.

This is short and sweet cos I am tired

2008-11-21T01:57:00.000-08:00

my highlight this week - fitting into a pair of size 24 jeans :) YAY me!!!!

I might go into the drs next week and get weighed at some stage.

OMG it's happening

2008-11-12T23:14:00.000-08:00

I got asked tonight if I had lost weight :) and I was able to smile and say YUP and I am working damn hard at it!!! after that comment when I got home I looked in the mirror and noticed that the tee shirt I had on came down further than it usually does - so there is not as much blubber holding it up :) I got myself a pair of shorts today and for a while a lot of size 26 have not really been fitting me and these shorts are size 26 I thought I will get them for something to lose weight to be able to fit into and I put them on and not only did they fit but there was room to spare around the middle (not round my bum though but they do fit my bum) now most people would be mortified to fit a size 26 well - me I am thrilled :) because at this rate I will be in a size 24 then 22,20 and 18. I would be really happy if I got down to a size 18 and that was it anything past that is a bonus. It is just sooo nice for people to notice! and I am feeling much better now - just the odd bit of pain and it mostly seems to be in the evenings.

The other exciting news is we have a house to look at on Monday - I just looked at the picture of the kitchen and it has a dash washer and a gas oven :) and pets are OK so long as you have references for them - which we do so fingers crossed because it is only a 5 minute walk from hubby's work too!!!

I am going to have a vent here

2008-11-09T17:58:00.000-08:00

I will see if rambling here takes my mind off the pain! I am seriously in sooo much pain and I have Theo off school today with a tummy bug - I was up and down throughout the night to him not that I got much sleeping done anyway . I called hubby at work to ask him if he could come home so he could look after the kids and I could go to bed but he got shitty at me for asking .We have someone coming round to look at the car at 3:45 so I have to deal with them too. I am ultimately grumpy and shitty because I am not coping well with the pain and naturally Lexi had to decide she did not want much sleep today . I have not had anything to eat since I had a bit of dinner last night I just don't feel up to it and I am trying my hardest to sip on water but it makes me feel really really ill eating or drinking anything.I guess on the up side if I am not eatign anything I won't put on any weight.I have Lexi up now she is playing on the floor next to me (I am about to pop her on the floor in the lounge and lay down on the couch - I will put her back to bed just before this guy comes about the car and then go to bed and she should stay asleep till hubby gets home.

it has been a LONG LONG LONG drawn out day today.

Well that was embaracing

2008-11-08T13:36:00.000-08:00

Last night we went to an awesome fireworks display event - we had a great time but JUST before the fire works started I got the most horrendous pain in my back which then moved into under my ribs in the front and then into my chest - so hubby went and got the St johns ppl (against my wishes) so they took me over to their event van and checked me out ,my pulse was racing and the pain was horrible. Anyway in the end they called an ambulance which they met half way back to town and I transferred into that. Anyway after 5 hours in A&E (not a bad wait for a Saturday night) they concluded that I either had a bad kidney infection or a kidney stone. So I have to go back to my GP on Monday - but it was all a bit over dramatised I was really embarrassed to have wasted so many peoples time but I was glad it was nothing worse than what it was.

Some people are just outright nasty

2008-11-07T11:52:00.000-08:00

I am sure most of you would have read my Happy happy happy thread on the message board - going on about how happy I was that I had been given the prescription for Clomiphene.I was fine with the way the thread went - people telling me we should not be ttc till I had lost the weight But some of the comments were just nasty beyond belief!I only have to lose a few kg and I will be the same weight I was when I conceived Lexi and I had very few problems with that pregnancy - the problems I did have were minor! YES it is not ideal to be TTC while so over weight BUT I don't want a big age gap and I don't have age on my side - it is not like I am in my early,mid or even late 20's. If we cannot conceive in 6 months or so and have to go to the next step past clomiphene and that is all my biological clock ticking on and on I turn 32 next month and while that is not really old it is certainly on the wrong side of 30.I know alot of you nasty ones are probably here following this anonymously I hope you feel really proud of yourselves - what big wonderful people you are *CLAP CLAP CLAP*.

Anyway today is my 1 cheat day of the month We are going to a fire works display and we will be taking fish and chips for tea and some finger food for dessert I don't intend on totally pigging out but it will be nice just to have a small taste.I think tomorrows activity for the day will have to involve lots of walking.

1 month and a day

2008-11-06T15:54:00.000-08:00

Hi again!

Well I have not been off the crap for a month! tomorrow I am having my first cheat day - I am allowing myself one a month. We are going to a fireworks display and we are going to have fish and chips for tea and a few other yummy bits and pieces and then Sunday I guess we will have to go on a super long walk!!!

My big happy exciting news :) I went to see my specialist this morning to see about getting more clomiphene and I was SURE he was going to say lose weight first But not only did he not mention my weight BUT I did not even have to mention what I was there for - he just assumed that was what I was there for.So now I need to go hard out exercising so I can lose a good 15kg before I conceive if I conceive before that I guess it is a bonus but I think with the help of a dietitian I could carry on eating healthy/exercising and losing weight throughout the pregnancy. I am the happiest witch on earth :)

We have a first birthday party to go to this afternoon so that will be a test of my will power being confronted with all the yummy bits and pieces that I like so much but I am sure I will be just fine.Anyway this entry is short and sweet because I have lots to do before it is time to get Theo from school and go to this party.Will post again in a few days.

Well here it is - the moment of truth (yup truth hurts)

2008-11-02T16:54:00.000-08:00

Well I went to my dr today to get the referral to the dietitian and they had scales there that took my weight :( it was not pretty though - I am roughly what I expected I would be I am 146kg *hangs head in shame* HOW THE HELL COULD I LET MYSELF GET THIS BIG!!!!! So now I guess this blog is open for people to view! and I guess here is where all the hard work starts - I know alot of you are probably thinking if I weighed that much there is no way I would be announcing it to the world BUT for me it is a very good thing - if I have humiliated myself by sharing my disgusting weight it will give me HUGE motivation to do something about it - I don't want to share a flop storey where I stay the same weight I want to share my success storey!

So now there is nothing more to do except for to share this link with everyone and if you all want to follow please book mark it and come back once or twice a week to see how I am getting on.Don't expect daily posts I am too slack for that :)

Wish me luck!

Day 24

2008-10-29T13:39:00.000-07:00

Still no one has been given this blog because I can not find scales that will take my weight - I have tried at a couple of places that have the pay scales but they have come up error :( So I still don't know my weight.I have found out that through my medical insurance I can have up to $300 per claims year for a dietitian so I have made an appointment with my GP as the medical insurance requires you to get a referral from your GP.I have lost a couple of notches on my belt well 1 if you want to be comfortable 2 if you don't :P but 2 sounds a lot better.

I started Lexis swimming lessons a week ago (she has her second lesson today) so her and I can go swimming now which although I am limited to what I can do in the pool with Lexi is still exercise none the less!So there I go on the left in all my blubberness! although I do look better than I did 4 weeks ago! Isn't that bubba just gorgeous!!!what more incentive could one possibly need to lose weight!!! I have an appointment next Friday with the specialist to try and get more clomiphene so we can TTC Child #3/baby #2 I do have a feeling that he will tell me to lose some weight first.

I am going to get hubby to take a photo of me in my more fitting togs so it will make a great before pic in a few months time :) . One of the many benefits of losing weight will be pregnancy will be a whole heap easier next time around and I might even get a noticeable bump! Another HUGE reason I want to lose weight is with Lexi I really wanted a water birth but due to my blood pressure being high (weight related) I was unable to so my main goal here after I have managed to conceive is to be able to have a water birth.

I am doing really well food wise - the first week saw me having terrible headaches probably sugar withdrawals but I feel great now - which meals have not been super dooper healthy they are not fried convenience food and they are generally healthy and portion sizes have dropped dramaticly.I have had 1 cheat as far as sugar/junk goes - last night I had a cup of coffee with 1 sugar in it - hardly the crime of the century but still sugar!

Anyway I have rambled on enough so I will post this msg and I will update after going to the doctors on monday - I have not asked if they have heavy duty scales there I just know the ones in my GP's room does not go up high enough so maybe on monday I will have a weight and I can then share this blog with people.

So here it is post #1 on my journey

2008-10-09T03:39:00.000-07:00

I will not be giving out this address to anyone till I have my starting weight - I need to get somewhere that has some heavy duty scales - I am guessing my weight is about 145kg - last time I was weighed I was 9 months pregnant with my beautiful daughter Lexi and I was 150kg (yes I know OMG!!!!) and she was 4.290kg so I guess with the placenta and fluid etc I lost at least 5kg instantly - so now 7 months on I have decided I don't want to die before she has finished primary school! so a health kick it is! I started Monday this week with the food side of things I have cut out crap food - I have had headaches ever since - I think it is the lack of sugar - I did not realise just how much junk I eat!!!I am MAJORLY craving the junk!! I am being very strong willed though . My next step will be joining the gym - I can hear you all saying now - why go the gym when you can just walk - I lose motivation with walking really easily - in the past I have been very successful at the gym so that is my plan of attack this time . I am going to call our medical insurance company also to find out if our policy covers a dietitian .Now is the time for me to do this - I WILL lose the weight . So I guess I should outline my goals my long term goal is to get under 100kg - still very over weight but I will be happy if I can get under 100kg anything after that will be a bonus! my first goal is to lose 5kg in the first month which going from past weight loss attempts I am pretty confident this will be easily attained it is usually after the first 10 -15kg is gone that things start becoming difficult so after the first month I will be setting realistic goals such as a couple of KG a month. I will get some photos of me in my swimming togs - yes graphic for you all I know but it will be the best way to easily see progress.So what do ya recon - can I be 99kg or less by this time next year? that is pretty much a kg a week . I am in the right frame of mind to do this and I feel very positive .I look forward to sharing my journey with you all as I go from flab to fab!