We are moving!!!

YAY!!!!! We have found a new house that will let us have our dog! AND it is just perfect AND in the exact area where we want to be! The SUPER good thing about that is that there are soo many good walks in the area AND hubby will get home from work sooner so we will be able to go for evening walks easier.Also I have had hubby password my computer so I cannot get on it till he gets home from work which is fab because it means I can't sit on my butt all day doing nothing on the computer!I can really see this move being great for my weight loss because I have not been motivated to exercise here .

hopefully I will see big progress soon.

This is short and sweet cos I am tired

my highlight this week - fitting into a pair of size 24 jeans :) YAY me!!!!

I might go into the drs next week and get weighed at some stage.

OMG it's happening

I got asked tonight if I had lost weight :) and I was able to smile and say YUP and I am working damn hard at it!!! after that comment when I got home I looked in the mirror and noticed that the tee shirt I had on came down further than it usually does - so there is not as much blubber holding it up :) I got myself a pair of shorts today and for a while a lot of size 26 have not really been fitting me and these shorts are size 26 I thought I will get them for something to lose weight to be able to fit into and I put them on and not only did they fit but there was room to spare around the middle (not round my bum though but they do fit my bum) now most people would be mortified to fit a size 26 well - me I am thrilled :) because at this rate I will be in a size 24 then 22,20 and 18. I would be really happy if I got down to a size 18 and that was it anything past that is a bonus. It is just sooo nice for people to notice! and I am feeling much better now - just the odd bit of pain and it mostly seems to be in the evenings.

The other exciting news is we have a house to look at on Monday - I just looked at the picture of the kitchen and it has a dash washer and a gas oven :) and pets are OK so long as you have references for them - which we do so fingers crossed because it is only a 5 minute walk from hubby's work too!!!

I am going to have a vent here

I will see if rambling here takes my mind off the pain! I am seriously in sooo much pain and I have Theo off school today with a tummy bug - I was up and down throughout the night to him not that I got much sleeping done anyway . I called hubby at work to ask him if he could come home so he could look after the kids and I could go to bed but he got shitty at me for asking .We have someone coming round to look at the car at 3:45 so I have to deal with them too. I am ultimately grumpy and shitty because I am not coping well with the pain and naturally Lexi had to decide she did not want much sleep today . I have not had anything to eat since I had a bit of dinner last night I just don't feel up to it and I am trying my hardest to sip on water but it makes me feel really really ill eating or drinking anything.I guess on the up side if I am not eatign anything I won't put on any weight.I have Lexi up now she is playing on the floor next to me (I am about to pop her on the floor in the lounge and lay down on the couch - I will put her back to bed just before this guy comes about the car and then go to bed and she should stay asleep till hubby gets home.

it has been a LONG LONG LONG drawn out day today.

Well that was embaracing

Last night we went to an awesome fireworks display event - we had a great time but JUST before the fire works started I got the most horrendous pain in my back which then moved into under my ribs in the front and then into my chest - so hubby went and got the St johns ppl (against my wishes) so they took me over to their event van and checked me out ,my pulse was racing and the pain was horrible. Anyway in the end they called an ambulance which they met half way back to town and I transferred into that. Anyway after 5 hours in A&E (not a bad wait for a Saturday night) they concluded that I either had a bad kidney infection or a kidney stone. So I have to go back to my GP on Monday - but it was all a bit over dramatised I was really embarrassed to have wasted so many peoples time but I was glad it was nothing worse than what it was.

Some people are just outright nasty

I am sure most of you would have read my Happy happy happy thread on the message board - going on about how happy I was that I had been given the prescription for Clomiphene.I was fine with the way the thread went - people telling me we should not be ttc till I had lost the weight But some of the comments were just nasty beyond belief!I only have to lose a few kg and I will be the same weight I was when I conceived Lexi and I had very few problems with that pregnancy - the problems I did have were minor! YES it is not ideal to be TTC while so over weight BUT I don't want a big age gap and I don't have age on my side - it is not like I am in my early,mid or even late 20's. If we cannot conceive in 6 months or so and have to go to the next step past clomiphene and that is all my biological clock ticking on and on I turn 32 next month and while that is not really old it is certainly on the wrong side of 30.I know alot of you nasty ones are probably here following this anonymously I hope you feel really proud of yourselves - what big wonderful people you are *CLAP CLAP CLAP*.

Anyway today is my 1 cheat day of the month We are going to a fire works display and we will be taking fish and chips for tea and some finger food for dessert I don't intend on totally pigging out but it will be nice just to have a small taste.I think tomorrows activity for the day will have to involve lots of walking.

1 month and a day

Hi again!

Well I have not been off the crap for a month! tomorrow I am having my first cheat day - I am allowing myself one a month. We are going to a fireworks display and we are going to have fish and chips for tea and a few other yummy bits and pieces and then Sunday I guess we will have to go on a super long walk!!!

My big happy exciting news :) I went to see my specialist this morning to see about getting more clomiphene and I was SURE he was going to say lose weight first But not only did he not mention my weight BUT I did not even have to mention what I was there for - he just assumed that was what I was there for.So now I need to go hard out exercising so I can lose a good 15kg before I conceive if I conceive before that I guess it is a bonus but I think with the help of a dietitian I could carry on eating healthy/exercising and losing weight throughout the pregnancy. I am the happiest witch on earth :)

We have a first birthday party to go to this afternoon so that will be a test of my will power being confronted with all the yummy bits and pieces that I like so much but I am sure I will be just fine.Anyway this entry is short and sweet because I have lots to do before it is time to get Theo from school and go to this party.Will post again in a few days.

Well here it is - the moment of truth (yup truth hurts)

Well I went to my dr today to get the referral to the dietitian and they had scales there that took my weight :( it was not pretty though - I am roughly what I expected I would be I am 146kg *hangs head in shame* HOW THE HELL COULD I LET MYSELF GET THIS BIG!!!!! So now I guess this blog is open for people to view! and I guess here is where all the hard work starts - I know alot of you are probably thinking if I weighed that much there is no way I would be announcing it to the world BUT for me it is a very good thing - if I have humiliated myself by sharing my disgusting weight it will give me HUGE motivation to do something about it - I don't want to share a flop storey where I stay the same weight I want to share my success storey!

So now there is nothing more to do except for to share this link with everyone and if you all want to follow please book mark it and come back once or twice a week to see how I am getting on.Don't expect daily posts I am too slack for that :)

Wish me luck!

Day 24

Still no one has been given this blog because I can not find scales that will take my weight - I have tried at a couple of places that have the pay scales but they have come up error :( So I still don't know my weight.I have found out that through my medical insurance I can have up to $300 per claims year for a dietitian so I have made an appointment with my GP as the medical insurance requires you to get a referral from your GP.I have lost a couple of notches on my belt well 1 if you want to be comfortable 2 if you don't :P but 2 sounds a lot better.

I started Lexis swimming lessons a week ago (she has her second lesson today) so her and I can go swimming now which although I am limited to what I can do in the pool with Lexi is still exercise none the less!So there I go on the left in all my blubberness! although I do look better than I did 4 weeks ago! Isn't that bubba just gorgeous!!!what more incentive could one possibly need to lose weight!!! I have an appointment next Friday with the specialist to try and get more clomiphene so we can TTC Child #3/baby #2 I do have a feeling that he will tell me to lose some weight first.

I am going to get hubby to take a photo of me in my more fitting togs so it will make a great before pic in a few months time :) . One of the many benefits of losing weight will be pregnancy will be a whole heap easier next time around and I might even get a noticeable bump! Another HUGE reason I want to lose weight is with Lexi I really wanted a water birth but due to my blood pressure being high (weight related) I was unable to so my main goal here after I have managed to conceive is to be able to have a water birth.

I am doing really well food wise - the first week saw me having terrible headaches probably sugar withdrawals but I feel great now - which meals have not been super dooper healthy they are not fried convenience food and they are generally healthy and portion sizes have dropped dramaticly.I have had 1 cheat as far as sugar/junk goes - last night I had a cup of coffee with 1 sugar in it - hardly the crime of the century but still sugar!

Anyway I have rambled on enough so I will post this msg and I will update after going to the doctors on monday - I have not asked if they have heavy duty scales there I just know the ones in my GP's room does not go up high enough so maybe on monday I will have a weight and I can then share this blog with people.

So here it is post #1 on my journey

I will not be giving out this address to anyone till I have my starting weight - I need to get somewhere that has some heavy duty scales - I am guessing my weight is about 145kg - last time I was weighed I was 9 months pregnant with my beautiful daughter Lexi and I was 150kg (yes I know OMG!!!!) and she was 4.290kg so I guess with the placenta and fluid etc I lost at least 5kg instantly - so now 7 months on I have decided I don't want to die before she has finished primary school! so a health kick it is! I started Monday this week with the food side of things I have cut out crap food - I have had headaches ever since - I think it is the lack of sugar - I did not realise just how much junk I eat!!!I am MAJORLY craving the junk!! I am being very strong willed though . My next step will be joining the gym - I can hear you all saying now - why go the gym when you can just walk - I lose motivation with walking really easily - in the past I have been very successful at the gym so that is my plan of attack this time . I am going to call our medical insurance company also to find out if our policy covers a dietitian .Now is the time for me to do this - I WILL lose the weight . So I guess I should outline my goals my long term goal is to get under 100kg - still very over weight but I will be happy if I can get under 100kg anything after that will be a bonus! my first goal is to lose 5kg in the first month which going from past weight loss attempts I am pretty confident this will be easily attained it is usually after the first 10 -15kg is gone that things start becoming difficult so after the first month I will be setting realistic goals such as a couple of KG a month. I will get some photos of me in my swimming togs - yes graphic for you all I know but it will be the best way to easily see progress.So what do ya recon - can I be 99kg or less by this time next year? that is pretty much a kg a week . I am in the right frame of mind to do this and I feel very positive .I look forward to sharing my journey with you all as I go from flab to fab!